I love Jesus. I cherish his friendship and guidance, his correction and comfort. So it becomes dreadful for me when I have to look upon the cross again. I know that Easter is coming. I know that He lives today. But facing his sacrifice is almost too much every season. It is the reminder of who I am--in need of such a great Savior! This dread does not lead me to despair or depression. It pulls me to my knees in humble adoration for what he's done for all of us.
When I read the story of Jesus being anointed my Mary, the sister of Martha and Lazarus found in John 12:1-8, and the sinful woman (commonly referred to as a prostitute) in Luke 7:36-50, I am deeply moved. Both of these women, one at the more righteous end of the spectrum and the other at the most wicked, had a deep understanding of who Jesus was and what he was doing in this world. Both anointed him with fragrant oil. He had already offered them both new life and both had received it. And yet, for all of Jesus' followers, men and women alike, there was a dread when he told them multiple times that he would suffer and die. Surely their sins were not so great as to demand a perfect sacrifice! Surely not! They were good enough. They were following him now, weren't they? Didn't they preach and heal in his Name? But these two women sensed something deeper. Their hearts were more in tune than the others. They had a sense of dread as well. I imagined their struggle in a poem.
Song of a
Magdalene
I
cannot let you go.
And
you must leave us lost.
My
heart is torn in two
As
You turn toward the cross.
I
beg you not to go.
Your
suffering will be deep.
But,
if You do not go
I
cannot be set free.
Oh,
please, my Savior!
Must
you take your leave?
Your
blood, so precious to me,
Must
be spilled upon that tree.
I
ache will sorrow yet to come.
You
told us this must be.
If
I cling to You so desperately
I
will not be set free.
Oh,
Father, keep Him from this pain!
Excise
the sin Yourself!
Why
must You send our perfect Peace
To
such a wretched death?
I
think not only of myself—
This
longing to be free.
I
think of all those lost in sin
Who
also need this victory.
And
so I give You to that cross,
The
cruelest scourge and suffering
That,
now I know, must be
For
all to be redeemed.
Oh,
third day come quickly!
Bring
my heart the hopeful, future joy
Of
resurrection day fulfilled
And
promised by His word.
“Do
not fear, my friends,” You said.
And
yet we fear indeed.
For
we know not what You now do
Is
really all we need.
Your
voice will be so silent.
The
grave so deep and dark.
Yet
I believe as best I can.
Your
love has lit a spark.
I
long to know you’ll come again.
I
ache with hope it’s true.
So,
go now, my beloved One
And do what you must do. We could feel left in despair and depression. But that's where the end of Easter week rebukes each one of us. The suffering and the death were necessary, not just because the Father required it and Jesus was obedient, but because our sin was so great and we have no way out of it except by his death and resurrection. Praise God that he does not leave us to our own devices! Dread is very quickly replaced by victory and rejoicing.
I don't mind the dread so much, when seen through resurrection eyes. It calls me to my knees each year and then my Easter morning rejoicing in the freedom from my sins, from your sins, from the sins of any who would kneel down and anoint his beautiful feet, is real and deep and pure and full of gratitude.
Happy Easter! He is risen!
M.R. Hyde
Copyright 2016
